Woah wait a sec. It’s the end of May already?! Where did my year go??
It seems like only yesterday I was being underwhelmed by the New Year posts. And now what? We’re 6 months into the year already! Apparently time flies when you’re in hospital trying to figure out what on earth you learnt in med school over the last 4 years. xD
Looking over my posts this year, it seems I’ve been kind of lost throughout the last 6 months. Well it’s not exactly new, but I do wonder if my readers get tired of my rather self-absorbed and confused posts. (If I even have any readers, that is)
Nah I’m kidding. I’m really grateful to all the people that are following me and the people that drop by just to read a post. It’s such a nice feeling to wake up to a new like or follow. Especially since I’m super critical about my posts on here. No, really.
For me, blogging is a really new and weird thing. As a kid, I had a heck of a lot to say. And I used to think that if I had a blog, I’d be so famous and people would want me to become a writer and combine my blogs into a book (as is the trend these days amongst YouTubers, bloggers, Kardashians, etc.). As I grew older, I realised that my opinions and delusions of grandeur should really be kept to myself. Because as I’ve said, I found out the hard way what I say and what anyone says really, can have huge impacts on others (that are not always good). So the blogger/writer dream never happened. Yes I know, millions out there are disappointed. I do apologise.
But now, due to inspiration, this blog exists. And I am so grateful I started it and immensely grateful to the person that got me to do it. What’s great about this blog is that there is only one other person in my life that knows about its existence. The person that made me start it. Unless of course they told someone else about it (they might have, but I wouldn’t know them so oh well). But anyways, that fact gives me a certain amount of freedom to write anything I want on here without the fear that someone I know might see it and start judging me. And it’s also nice to have something separate that’s mine away from the other people in my life. Not that there’s anything bad about those people, it’s just I haven’t had the inclination to tell anyone about this blog. I guess it’s an insecurity thing, in a way.
The other great thing is that I know nothing about blogging. Like literally nothing. I’ve read some pretty impressive blogs since being on here and I wonder if some of the bloggers spend time planning their posts or following a template. For example, a picture that describes the theme their post is about. Or a certain direction that each of their posts should take. I have none of these. When I blog, it’s usually following some form of mood swing I’ve just had. Not always… but usually. xD I blog without a plan. I sign in, come up with a title that describes my mood, then start typing sentence after sentence that pops into my head. I type the way I think (you’re probably thinking that’s why it’s so messy. And you’d be right). Because this blog has become a place for me to vent all my emotions and worries and happy little events. I kind of don’t really think about how it sounds. Whether it really has that ‘future best-selling author’ finesse.
To me, they seem like disorganised, far longer than necessary, often random posts. But I don’t think to go back and fix it. Part of the reason for that is that I’m kinda in this place where I’m trying to figure out who I am as a person. And I feel like a lot of what I put into this blog is who I really am. Not the med student, not the friend, not someone who needs to be the person appropriate to the situation she’s in. Just me. And when these posts receive ‘likes’, It makes me feel special. As though that person does have a small voice that someone likes. hearing.
I’m not sure how we got onto the topic of blogging here, but I guess it’s the perfect time of the year (that’s going way too fast), to stop and say thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog and say how glad I am that I have this blog. Oh and sorry for another long post. xD
And here is a picture of a famous beach in Auckland. As it’s autumn here, the weather has been questionable. But I still got a decent picture as I stood over Piha beach reflecting on life. As all good authors do.
Hope everyone has had a lovely first half of the year!