Special 

On my last week of GP rotation, I am required to do a mini-cex. A GP consult with a supervising GP present. Everyone gets 2 tries at this.

My first try was not the best. My GP said I needed to improve in my second.

I studied as best as I could, going through notes I had made nearly 3 years ago now on history and examination. Which was beyond difficult. 

But it paid off. My GP awarded me a high grade for my mini-cex. She went so far as to tell me that I’m very on to it and I’ll make a great doctor.

Now, I don’t particularly handle compliments well. Mostly because I don’t receive them too often. I don’t usually get praise for being smart or on to it or at a high level with my clinical knowledge. I basically just work as hard as I can trying not to waste the opportunity given to me. And I have a sneaking suspicion my GP just has a soft spot for me. But it was lovely to hear anyway.

In that moment, I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that I can be someone who is “on to it” and “a great doctor” someday. 

Lately I’ve had trouble believing I’m anything other than an all around mess. So when someone suggests I can be better, I go through many levels of not really believing them and then kind of thinking maybe it’s okay to believe it. I liked being an “onto it” person. It’s not a feeling I often experience. 

Made me feel special. ^^

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