If you’re anything like me, things that frustrate you to no end are when people say things like “ugh I’m upset” and then when you ask why, they say “doesn’t matter” or “too hard to explain” or they don’t reply or they change the subject abruptly.
Excuse me how rude.
First of all, if you’ve got a problem you would like to share, then for heaven’s sake share it! If you don’t want to, then don’t. Please do not come by and hint that you’re dying on the inside but don’t want to share the full story. Don’t hint it at all. Like ignorance is bliss. I was having a perfectly good day until someone says “I’m really upset” and then when I panic enough to drop whatever I’m doing and ask them what’s happening, they decide they don’t really want to talk about it anymore.
That stuff messes with people you know. Decide whether you would like to talk about it. People like continuity. I do, anyway. I even try following up. I mean, I can appreciate if someone is too emotional, etc to discuss it right that instant. So I normally make the effort to remember who said what and try to follow up and make sure they’re okay. But nope. I get rewarded with a “too hard to explain”, or just plain change of subject.
You know to be honest, I’d much rather appreciate a person saying “hey I’m upset and I thought I wanted to talk about it with you, but I changed my mind for these reasons so I won’t be talking about it. Nothing personal” or something to that effect. Because otherwise it’s like being left on the cliffhanger of game of thrones with an indefinite time period as to when the next season will be up. (Or so people tell me. I wouldn’t know)
It’s really not that hard.
But anyway, I’ve learnt to cope using my technique of the need to know basis. As in, is going to kill me if I don’t ask about this or if I don’t know what’s happening? Probably not. Can I live with just hands off methods of interacting with them without bringing up these issues? Yes I think so.
It’s just for my peace of mind really. I ruminate far too much on what people were Going to say, but didn’t. There’s just no point. I mean yes I get curious, and I try asking maybe once, but after that, I’d rather join this person in pretending that conversation never happened than putting myself through the trauma. Just gotta accept that’s what people do sometimes.