You know what you shouldn’t do?
Take people way too seriously.
I usually take things at face value. If someone tells me they’re angry or sad or they feel a certain way about someone, or they’re going to do something, I tend to believe them.
I mean, how else could I really know what’s going on in someone’s head? I’m not a mind reader. All I’ve got is what they tell me or show me through their actions.
So I believe people if they say things.
What I expect is for people to say how they really feel.
But what I’ve realised is that people do say what they feel, but the fine print is this:
They say what they’re feeling, right at that very instance.
Which basically means, that’s going to change.
Everybody says or does something when they’re emotional about something. But that isn’t necessarily what they would say or do if they were… euthymic, let’s say.
So if you’re the person that’s listening or supporting someone saying/doing something in an emotional state, my advice is, don’t think too much of it. It’s not going to last.
I’ve seen that a lot recently. When someone tells me they’re absolutely done with this person and they’ve had enough and they’re leaving etc etc., I get super upset that they’re feeling this way. I try to console and change their mind and spend quite a few hours of my life doing so. They tell me I cannot change their mind at any cost!
Two days later, they’re happy. Getting on with the other person..those statements never to be heard again. Nothing’s changed. They didn’t leave. And they’re not done with that person.
And I’m left wondering why I wasted my life getting upset over what they were telling me.
It’s just happened so many times now. I’m starting to accept it. Obviously if someone was saying they were going to harm themselves or others, take that seriously.
But if someone is saying stuff out of anger or short-lived sadness, don’t bother humouring them. Truly. You’ll stress yourself out for no reason, only to end up hearing “Well I said that when I was angry. I wasn’t serious..”
Well then you really shouldn’t have said it to be honest.
But anyway. I’m sure I do it too. I’m sure everyone does it.
Sometimes you can’t believe the trash that comes out of people’s mouths.
But for your own sanity, just don’t take them too seriously.