Well a year and a half later, I have returned to the land of the children!
A completely different hospital this time, thankfully. Because I had a less than great experience last year.
But this year! I am allocated to the paediatric gastroenterology team! I was hoping my love for gastroenterology would balance out my fear/dislike of paediatrics.
And it does, to a certain extent. On my first day I learnt about 3 new conditions I hadn’t seen or heard of before which was super interesting. And my consultant is extremely nice, which makes things so much better.
But I’m still not feeling the paediatrics vibe.
Beyond the fact that children scare me, I am not cut out for the people the grown-ups turn into around children.
I cannot handle or do baby talk.
Like just no. People don’t realise how ridiculous it sounds to others.
Sometimes I think even the kids judge some of the adults and their attempt to comfort them using baby talk.
You just end up saying things that make no sense.
There was a crying baby on the ward round, so my house officer took off her brightly coloured lanyard with her nametag on it, and waved it in the baby’s face. (Which by the way I don’t approve of. There could be millions of germs on there) but then, the nurse in the room let out a dramatic gasp and said “see that?? You love a good nametag don’t you!!”
That doesn’t even make any sense. And it’s not something a kid would stop crying to.
And of course this kid didn’t stop crying. I mean it wasn’t going to be like “yes Sharon I do love a good nametag thanks. I’ll stop crying now”
I mean honestly. So unnecessary.
And the other day on ward rounds, a child was hiding behind the curtains in his room and the registrar was trying to examine him. My house officer out of nowhere looks at me with the most serious face and says “where’s Timmy??” (Not his real name). For a second I was confused if she was seriously asking me something.
But no. She was doing it for the child’s benefit. He of course ignored her.
Oh God. I cannot do that. I talk to kids normally. And I do okay-ish with examinations.
But yeah I don’t know. Definitely cannot be a paediatrician.
Thankfully the rotation this year is only 4 weeks and I am currently on my 3rd week.
But seriously people. Stop with the baby talk. It’s not cool anymore. The babies are judging you big time.