When I was in high school, one of my best friends was in a relationship with another one of my friends who I was less close with. This girl dumped my friend over text and basically pretended their relationship never happened.
When I found out what happened to my best friend, I developed a massive dislike for this girl. I labelled her in my mind as a terrible person that I never wanted to be associated with.
It took me a few years to realise that you can’t classify someone as a good or bad person that easily.
One of my current friends told me you have to judge people based on how they treat others. That’s what makes them good or bad people.
To a certain extent, I agree. If you can treat someone badly, and not feel any remorse, you have more bad in you, than good.
However, that wouldn’t be seeing the full picture. If you were someone who was never treated well by anyone, would you necessarily know what it means to be treated well, or be able to treat someone else well?
Not really. That’s just how your world has always worked. That doesn’t mean you’re inherently 100% bad.
Another friend of mine said that doesn’t matter. Being treated badly does not justify treating someone else badly. Ie. You being hit as a child does not equal you hitting your child is acceptable.
Which does make sense. But even that wouldn’t be the full picture.
Because these people don’t necessarily say to themselves, I was hit as a child. So I must hit my child. They don’t plan on doing what they do. They’ve just been put in a circumstance where they do something and not understand it’s not acceptable.
That doesn’t make them 100% inherently bad either.
I’ve met so many doctors in hospital who are fantastic doctors, but they go around treating their junior staff and colleagues quite badly. Many students call them good doctors but not good people.
Again, that’s not the full picture.
Some people are just moody. They’re annoyed with people for whatever reason. But in the end, they’re all just trying to be happy. It usually isn’t something they have against one person specifically.
They can’t be classified as fully bad.
Lots of people will tell you stories about people you don’t know and paint them in a negative way. You would never have the full picture there because experiences are so variable. Even if you got to know them, they may treat you differently to how the treated the person you heard about them from. Based on different circumstances and situations.
I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that it’s so hard to call someone a bad person and have every single thing they do, support that statement.
This means it’s equally difficult to say someone is a good person.
These days I feel like there’s no point in classifying people. Everyone has the potential to be wonderful, and equal potential to destroy.
You just have to weigh the good parts of people against the bad. And face the fact that you will never have the full picture about someone.