Most days, I know what I want. I have a pretty good idea of how to get it.
And if I know I can’t get it, I accept that and move on.
But sometimes I feel so confused. How could I want something I know I absolutely cannot have. How could I continue to want it?
But I don’t really want it. I can’t picture myself having acquired it. It wouldn’t work. There’s no way.
I want to be happy. I wouldn’t exactly be happy if I had it. I would in some ways, but I wouldn’t completely.
But then again, I’m not happy now.
I know what would make me happy. But wishful thinking is never a good thing. It stops you from being realistic.
The bottom line is, it’s not going to happen. And I know that. I’m not going to get what I want. It wouldn’t be the right thing for me.
Then why do I still feel like this. I fear that I would never stop feeling like this. Things could change. But everything keeps telling me that I wouldn’t truly stop wanting what I want.
What’s the point. An exercise in futility.