Self Pity

Can I just take a moment to pity myself?

I don’t like self pity. I don’t encourage it in anyone. But at the moment I’m feeling rather pathetic about the situation I’m in.

It’s not that I didn’t really see this coming. I kind of expected this to turn to custard. But I had still hoped that it maybe sorta kinda wouldn’t.

Well, I was wrong.

And I thought to myself well hey, gotta keep going anyway. How else can I screw up my life right? 

But today I just want to feel sorry for myself. That things are just not going well for me.

Just when are things going to be sort of acceptable? 

Or when the HELL am I going to be able to take a step back and look at this mess and be the kind of person who is unaffected or can actually deal with it?

So today I’m just going to pity the pathetic-ness that I and my current situation is

There are some things in life, “lessons” they call them, that I think I could have learnt without the shit experiences that you need to go through to have to learn them. 

Like if someone tried to teach me these lessons verbally, I would have happily believed and learnt them.

Ugh.