Can I just be left alone?
Things are really weird. Everything is in limbo.
No matter how I imagine my life or who I imagine my life with, I feel unhappy.
Nothing feels right.
Can’t see a way out of it.
I’m tired and I hurt and I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I want things I shouldn’t want or I’m not allowed to want. Because there’s no way I’d get them.
That makes me frustrated.
But it makes me frustrated at the people around me. As though somehow they’re holding me back.
They’re probably not. I don’t know
Maybe I’m the one that’s wrong here.
But that’s why I want to be left alone.
Can I cease to exist?
Is it better to be alone and be disappointed in myself or be around others who will be disappointed in me and who I will end up resenting?
I’d rather be alone.
Because atleast then, I can pretend the things in my head could be real.