Well Liked

Probably one of the hardest things about the human experience is liking someone who doesn’t like you back.

I think everyone at one point or another will experience this in their lifetime.

You meet someone – friends, family, special someone, whoever, that you really adore. They’re great! They’re fun, cool, nice, smart, funny, etc etc. Insert your favourite adjectives here. You want to spend a lot of time with them, tell them they’re great, do things for them, you like it when they’re happy, hate it when they’re sad, you like the feeling they give you. You like how happy they make you. The world is a better place because they’re in it.

Unfortunately…. You don’t light up their world.

They’re just not that into you. They don’t really want to see you all the time, they don’t really want to hear about your day, hear about your feelings, they don’t think you’re great. They think you’re fine. They like you, sure! But you’re not well-liked. You’re not liked as much as you like them. They’re your friend/family/significant other, but sometimes you’re left feeling not as appreciated.

And that’s pretty hard to deal with.

This isn’t to say the other person is terrible or mean or unappreciative. They just don’t like you as much as you like them. And that’s fine. People are all different (as cliche as that sounds).

It’s especially hard when it’s someone who you used to be close to who you thought liked you just as much but over time they became distant and seemed to care less. But how you feel hadn’t changed

It’s just a rough experience.

Sometimes it feels like maybe if you change the way you are they would like you better. And that never really works out well. There’s no real point to that. You can only be who you are. So you kind of box on and deal with it. You care about them and that won’t change because they don’t care about you that much. You’re not likely to give them up because you get the same happiness from them being in your life. And that’s important.

There’s no real way to deal with this except acceptance. But it should make you aware of others in your life who you may not realise you don’t like as much as they seem to like you. And that’s bound to happen too.

Because people are bound to like you. A lot. You’re likely to be very well-liked. But maybe you don’t necessarily feel that way about everyone who likes you. But knowing how that feels, I guess it’s important to be aware of those people. And try to do something to show you appreciate them. Maybe never as much as they appreciate you, but something small can make a lot of difference. And that’s very important.

Still Waiting…

Does anyone else feel like they’re still waiting for things to get better?

Remember how we were all like “YES BRING ON 2021 GOODBYE 2020 THINGS WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER!!” ?

Has anyone gotten what they were expecting?

I don’t think I have.

NZ is still flitting in and out of lockdown, still waiting on the vaccine, still has closed borders to the rest of the world. People still making noise about masks, still seeing covid news everywhere, still not improved.

Personally, I feel like the other things in my life have also not improved as I had hoped. It’s March already. ALREADY.

I have been studying. I am planning to sit my physicians college exams in 2022. Yep you really do have to start studying a year early. There really is that much content.

But it’s more than that. I guess I was hoping beyond hope that something would change.. you know?

Like I would experience something new, people would understand me better, I would understand people better, I would come in to my role as a registrar and it would feel different and I would feel different… just…something.

I thought at least things would feel more.. fixed. More sure? I guess? But everything is still as fluffy as it always was. Every time there is a disagreement or confusion, everything seems so broken and without solution. And it continues to feel this way. I’m not sure what I was hoping for.

Ahh what a bleak train of thought. But seriously, shouldn’t something have happened by now?

I’m not sure.. But I’m still waiting…