My Life Is AverageĀ 

So today I was mulling around thinking about the current state of my life. Basically kind of bored.

I just finished a 10 day working stretch including weekend and then slept for 11 hours straight.

I woke up and it was hard to get into a mode where I don’t think about work.

You know people bang on and on about “work-life balance” like it’s some magical equation that’ll make your life perfect. I bet all of them would agree that I don’t have such a “balance”

Mostly because people think that this “balance” is either being able to have babies and being a working mom (if you’re a woman), or being involved in some kind of group activity like sports or tree planting club or something.

I basically stay home and browse the internet and talk to my friends. I’m not part of any club and I’m not particularly athletically inclined. I’m sure most of these balance people will say that’s not good enough.

I kind of disagree. I think work-life balance is more about being able to give your best at work and outside of it. And let me tell you, I am giving 100% to being lazy right now.

But also it’s that point in my life where there are no big goals and nothing much to work towards.

Like I spent a lot of effort and time working towards becoming a doctor and it’s like, well now what?

So that’s what work-life balance is kind of a question mark for me. Now what do I do with my life?

A friend of mine said it may seem a bit messy but if you sum it up, it doesn’t sound that bad. He proceeded to say “I’ve got a good job I’m about to be promoted in, I’m engaged and planning a trip to Japan this year”

I had to laugh.

Mostly because that actually sounded great and my summary wouldn’t sound as good.

“I’m a doctor, working in Middlemore hospital… and uhh….”

Yeah I don’t know. It required much more thought after that initial sentence. Like yes I’m a doctor, and that’s pretty good I suppose. I’ve just started, I’ve got my whole career ahead of me, working towards becoming a gastro consultant etc.

What else do I do? I’ve got my blog. I’ve got my writing. I like taking photos, I like playing the guitar.

But I’m not exactly fantastic at any of these things. I’m basically average.

I’d like to be someone who does a lot of things. But I don’t know what.

Oh well. Today I at least made a point to play guitar, write, and take photos.

Macro shot of my bamboo plant/tree thing!

I’m going to get back into taking photos I think. Macro today. But hopefully will get back into going places and taking landscape photos. After all, the season is perfect for some soft, pastel photography.

Balance

Do you ever have points in your life where you think that things are going really well at the moment… And that’s suspicious and you’re expecting things to crash?

I never have these points.

My life somehow seems to always be a perfect, and immediate balance. Whenever something good happens, the very next day, if not the same day, something not so good happens. Probably something unrelated to the good thing, but still. It’s instantaneous. And it’s just painful irony most of the time.

I don’t know why. You’re probably thinking what a cynical pessimistic thing to think. And optimists will say that perhaps a good thing is happening after every bad thing.

But with the latency between the bad thing and the good thing, I can kind of tell which is happening first.

Something good has happened, and then the next day, something upsets me. In a big way. Makes me wonder how I am going to stuff up the good thing that happened.

I suppose another way to look at it is that it keeps me grounded. Never too overconfident with myself and never too down on myself. Well…. That’s not really true. I have long moments of down-ness. But it almost always seems that goodness is followed by down-ness. Not really the other way around.

Eugh. I don’t know.

That’s life I suppose. Meh. Must go with le flow.