Well Liked

Probably one of the hardest things about the human experience is liking someone who doesn’t like you back.

I think everyone at one point or another will experience this in their lifetime.

You meet someone – friends, family, special someone, whoever, that you really adore. They’re great! They’re fun, cool, nice, smart, funny, etc etc. Insert your favourite adjectives here. You want to spend a lot of time with them, tell them they’re great, do things for them, you like it when they’re happy, hate it when they’re sad, you like the feeling they give you. You like how happy they make you. The world is a better place because they’re in it.

Unfortunately…. You don’t light up their world.

They’re just not that into you. They don’t really want to see you all the time, they don’t really want to hear about your day, hear about your feelings, they don’t think you’re great. They think you’re fine. They like you, sure! But you’re not well-liked. You’re not liked as much as you like them. They’re your friend/family/significant other, but sometimes you’re left feeling not as appreciated.

And that’s pretty hard to deal with.

This isn’t to say the other person is terrible or mean or unappreciative. They just don’t like you as much as you like them. And that’s fine. People are all different (as cliche as that sounds).

It’s especially hard when it’s someone who you used to be close to who you thought liked you just as much but over time they became distant and seemed to care less. But how you feel hadn’t changed

It’s just a rough experience.

Sometimes it feels like maybe if you change the way you are they would like you better. And that never really works out well. There’s no real point to that. You can only be who you are. So you kind of box on and deal with it. You care about them and that won’t change because they don’t care about you that much. You’re not likely to give them up because you get the same happiness from them being in your life. And that’s important.

There’s no real way to deal with this except acceptance. But it should make you aware of others in your life who you may not realise you don’t like as much as they seem to like you. And that’s bound to happen too.

Because people are bound to like you. A lot. You’re likely to be very well-liked. But maybe you don’t necessarily feel that way about everyone who likes you. But knowing how that feels, I guess it’s important to be aware of those people. And try to do something to show you appreciate them. Maybe never as much as they appreciate you, but something small can make a lot of difference. And that’s very important.

Photography: Art, But Not Really

So the other day I was talking to one of my friends about cameras. He had just upgraded from his Samsung Galaxy S9 phone to a 1+ phone. He boasted about how fabulous the camera is on this new model of phone. He told me his photography skills were about to improve ten-fold.

I laughed openly.

I told him the camera doesn’t decide how good you are at photography. He countered my argument by saying that with a good camera, anything captured can be made to look fabulous.

We continued to discuss this. It got me thinking about whether photography is even a valid art form. My interest in photography began back when I was in school. A couple of my science teachers ran a photography club and taught some of us the techniques and practice of being a good photographer. They thought I was pretty good. My parents thought I was pretty good. So I went out and bought myself a DSLR.

My DSLR is super amateur level. I’ve been using the same 2 lenses that came free with the camera 6 years ago. But I still put up some decent photos.

But honestly, I know I’m not very good. I don’t have what I perceive to be good photography skills. For example, my idea of angles is pretty amateur. I’ve seen lots of people take photos from angles I wouldn’t have thought of looking in. I also don’t care much about lighting. I need my subject to be visible with as much detail as possible. But I’ve seen people toggle with lighting for ages before even taking a picture.

But I take photos and people tell me they are good. But am I just lucky?

When I go on instagram, the people I follow usually put up pretty mundane photos. But every so often, some of them will put up something that makes me go “Oooh”. Does that make them “good” at photography? Or does it just make them lucky to have been in the right place and the right time with their camera lined up accurately enough to capture something fantastic?

A few people I know have opened their own photography “companies”. Not one of them is super impressive to me. They deal a lot in portrait photography of people they know. I can’t say they’re very good. Even edited, none of them made me go “ooh”. I have a sneaking suspicion that these people were also told by their family/friends that they’re super good at photography and so they should have their own company. Or in the case of one of my friends, he has all the camera tech possible and just went for it. Needless to say, he didn’t get very far.

One of the people I know who does professional real estate photography, had trouble capturing some people in good lighting at a house party. But that’s not to say that his real estate photos are bad…

I think landscape photography and wildlife photography, and to a certain extent, portrait photography requires a whole lot of luck. The landscape never changes. But at that point when You visit the landscape (sunset/sunrise/dry/raining) changes how your photo will look. Same with wildlife photography (is the animal moving/sleeping/positioned correctly, etc). When I see the Natural Geographic photo competition winners who have captured a bird flying or a herd of animals running, yes you need a good camera and a good position, but you didn’t ask those animals to charge into your frame to capture. That was all them. Portrait photography requires luck because even though you can have models, capturing that exact expression you want requires some luck.

Macro photography is probably a bit different. It requires a lot more thought and skill. You need to see the special in the mundane and go close enough to see it and draw attention to it. That is one field of photography that I truly think needs skill. Because you can’t just zoom into anything and expect it to look good or convey a message you want it to.

So on the whole, is photography an art form? Or can any idiot with a good camera capture something stunning from time to time?

I think it’s a mixture of both.

I think you can’t take good photos without some luck. And I think anybody can be a photographer. But skill in photography is a very specialised subject. But I still think it has very little to do with what kind of camera you have.

Interesting topic. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Needing To Calm Down

Work has been super busy. I’m finding it a bit hard to do anything other than come home and sleep.

I’m also finding myself becoming quite cynical.

Well that’s not new, but apparently my cynicism is increasing in level. Not sure how much to, but when I get calls like:

“Hello, I’m calling about patient……Um…. hold on a second” where I literally want to scream oh my goodness what would possess you to pick up the phone and call me without knowing which patient you’re calling about?!?!

It leaves me quite drained and bitter.

Desperate to keep spirits up, I went out and invested more in photography.

I bought a lensball! I just adore the effect it has

Lensball pierLensball rangitotoIsn’t it fabulous? Bringing a new point of view to good ol’ Rangitoto and Mission bay.

Next week is important for me. A family member is undergoing a major medical procedure. And I guess I need to be calm and strong. It’s a pretty stressful time.

I need to calm down

Silent Beauty

So today I took my camera out again

There’s something very pleasing about shells I find. 

One of the many wonders of nature for me, are shells. Just the intricate shapes that are formed simply by withstanding the push and pull and the deep currents of the sea. 

It reminded me of a silly poem I wrote on my first day in 7th grade. The teacher was trying to get us to be creative, or she was just trying to get some quiet on the first day. By making us write poems about the beach.

I wrote about shells.

I can’t remember what I wrote exactly but I think it went something like this.

 Shells. 

Lying there softly and perfectly placed on a bed of hundreds of grains of sand

Telling a story of the sea 

 Some, a home to the magnificent creatures of the sea smaller than your nail

In all different shapes and sizes and patterns, 

Silent Beauty,

Shells.

..Oh dear. Quite amateur. Ugh it doesn’t even rhyme.

But I remember my teacher particularly liked the “silent beauty” description of shells. 

So do I. When I took these photos today, on a quiet beach while these shells were just lying their minding their own business, but calling me to them and prompting me to take a picture.

Silent beauty indeed. 

Some Things In My Life At The Moment

I think I’ve gotten into the habit of blogging when I can’t deal with other things in my life. But it seems to help. So oh well.

Anyway

Things happening in my life at the moment that are constantly on my mind:

1.The Obgyn osce coming up on Friday. Waiting for it to end, waiting for this run to end. But got lots of study + cramming to do in the next couple of days. But I suck at cramming.

2.Stuttering when I talk. This is mostly from osce practice, but I’ve found lately that I just cannot put sentences together coherently without tripping up in my mind and thinking Damn that sounds stupid, don’t say that. Change it. But ofcourse I can’t always do it that quickly, so everything comes out in a mess. What my consultant decided to call a “verbal diarrhoea”. Sigh. Hopefully it’s not some sort of permanent dysphasia

3.My Paediatrics consultant report + final grade…………… I don’t know what to say about this. I’m not happy about my grade or the comments provided by the paediatricians. No point pondering the reasons why. I think it’s safe to say my future in paediatrics as a career is effectively destroyed. Well, not really. But yeah. Oh well.

4.My Selective in September in Australia being (hopefully) confirmed in the near future depending on how good NZ Post is. Judging by their colourful ads with trendy dancing women, they better get my documents to Australia like, today.

5.Lots of people I know being sick. It’s stressful. Please feel better people!

6.That thing that’s always in the back of my mind. But nothing really I can do about that.

7.Getting back into macro photography. Quite happy about this pic. Little win for the day.

IMG_4512.JPG

 

That’s enough things for now. Must go read up on the management of threatened preterm labour as opposed to actual preterm labour.

Hope everyone else is having a fabulous day!