2020

A friend of mine wished me a happy new year

But when he sent the message, it came out as “Happy New Year?” With a question mark. 

I laughed and he told me it was a typo but it seemed oddly appropriate. 

He followed it up with a sheepish “I mean, who knows what will happen this year” 

And I agreed with him. I have no idea what 2020 will bring. But hopefully a lot of nice photos.

Like this one that I took in Adelaide on Christmas. 

Hope 2020 brings you what you want. 🙂 

Promise Of 2019

Well. My year in review post.

I remember when 2019 started. I wasn’t having the best time. I was at my new job and I was mourning the end of 2018 in a way. 2018 didn’t end well but it had so many good things about it. It had several lows but the highs were quite high. 

Couldn’t say the same for 2019.

I was having a conversation with HD. Back in 2018, I had promised him that 2019 would be his year. I told him he would have several good things happen to him and he would be really happy. I was secretly promising myself the same.

I really should’ve known better.

Several good things did happen for him. Just not the stuff I had predicted. And as for me, yeah I had a few highs. But the lows have been just so low. And currently it’s the lowest it could go, in my view. Though I probably shouldn’t say that because it can always get worse. Let’s face it.

I kind of wanted to be more put together. I had a bit of an idea what I wanted and where I wanted to go.

But this year has kind of made me think that maybe I’m just not someone who is destined to get what they really want. Maybe I want too much. Maybe what I want is too different to my innate nature and being. Maybe that’s why I won’t get it.

Because I really don’t think I gained more than I lost this year. And am continuing to lose. And the hopes that next year will be great, are rapidly slipping away.

I told HD that I wouldn’t promise him the world again this coming year. That was foolish. 

I told him that the year would have ups and downs, but overall it would be an up for him. His life is headed the right way.

I tried to tell myself the same thing. I know what kind of downs I will be facing. And they horrify me. I can only imagine and dream about the ups. And wish they would happen. 

But I’ve given up planning. 

Because my plans are just the tiny seeds on a thistle. At the slightest breeze, they break apart and fly away, leaving no trace of every having existed.

Wow that’s a major sob story. Sorry, I don’t mean to bring anyone down. But I guess the reality is, a year can either change a lot or not much at all. But a single day could do that too. So instead of being overwhelmed by the big picture, I shall take each day as it comes and goes. And survive them until my next high point. 

And just keep hoping and swimming.

Back To Reality

I have returned!! And it’s the new year! Which means absolutely nothing to me because I lost 4 days in travel from Europe to NZ. But also, not much hoopla from anyone this year. Nothing much on social media. The sappy posts are missing!! What a shock! I guess people finally realised how unnecessary those posts were.

I am also yet to hear the word “resolution” uttered by anyone. This is great! The year seems to be off to a good start!

I’m very jetlagged. But I have to prepare for the start of uni the day after tomorrow. My first rotation of the year this time is Gen med. Back to the old grime. 

I’m very excited. No, really.

I guess the most significant thing about this year, is that it is in fact, the last year of my degree. After this year, another section of my life will have been completed, and the next one will (hopefully) start. I often feel like my life is broken up into stages. Mostly around my education. So in that respect, a big stage of my life is ending. 

Well actually not really. Because of the profession I’ve chosen, I’ll be studying for ever basically. So I guess it’s not particularly significant. I’ll just have a title attached to my name and a heck of a lot of responsibility.

Oh man. I hope I am ready when that happens. Because currently, I feel I am not.

I gotta make some fairly important decisions this year. About where I want to start working, whether I want to start looking into the PG thing straight away, where I should do that, whether I should take the exams that let me practice in other countries around the world, etc. Big stuff.

But we’ll see what happens. New Year new prospects? Ewww God no. Too cliche.

New Year. Hopefully new-ish things happen that I may handle. 

I hope everyone has a year that somewhat lives up to their expectations! 🙂

Also, I got back home and it’s pouring rain in Auckland right on schedule. Typical of a NZ summer. Oh God it’s good to be home. ^^

That New Year Post

So I looked over my 2016 post today and thought to myself, well that seems like a reaaaaaally long time ago and a reaaaaally different person.

I had said “I aim to stay positive, keep improving myself, and survive another year with the help of those around me.” I can tell you that I survived 2016. I cannot say much else. I’ve said I’m no good with resolutions and I don’t believe in them right? Well I don’t.

But I won’t bring anyone else down! 2017 is a new year ofcourse! And with every new year come the preachers and the soul-touchers. I actually avoided going on facebook for about a month. But when I logged on in the new year, sure enough I was bombarded by memes about the betterment of self, society and the rest of the world in 1 day as 2017 began. Not to mention friends posting a picture somewhere on their summer getaway (Yes it’s currently summer in NZ) with a caption about how grateful they are and how this year shall be their defining year and how they challenge everyone out there to do the same. Eugh. I won’t rain on their parade. If they’re happy, good for them. But honestly, they had posted very similar things in previous years and it really makes me wonder if the things they “resolved” to do actually worked out for them to continue posting the same things over and over annually. But hey, most pictures are pleasant enough.

However, in the midst of the preaching angels, a friend of mine had put up a new year status that actually really impressed me. She had said:

Happy new year! May it be what we hope for.

That’s all. No pictures, no bells and whistles, no loud emoticons (or emojis if you prefer), and not more than one exclamation mark. Enough said. Seriously.

What caught me about her post is how realistic it is. She didn’t mention 2017, or anything about 2016. This post was about this moment. She didn’t hope you have a great year. She didn’t hope she has a great year. She just hopes that it is what you hope for it to be. She didn’t offer any guarantee or challenges or big positive words. And she didn’t need to. She just hopes. And to be honest, that’s all there is to it. Anyone could write pages and pages telling you how positive you should be and how they are aiming for great things. But in reality, it’s all about you in every moment, regardless of time period, year, etc. Just hope. Nothing more needs to be added to her post. It’s the most realistic new year wish, and it made me feel good.

I doubt she thought this far when she put up this post, but I got this feeling from it. Felt good. Strange things tend to speak to me and I never forget them. I’m weird. 

Oh happy new year to everyone by the way. 

2016

I realised that in my previous post I failed to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Now this isn’t going to be one of those posts about new year resolutions or lessons learnt from 2015. Mostly because I don’t believe in resolutions for the year because I feel that a list of changes thought up in one day for the rest of the year to transform oneself is not very realistic. I believe that we should all try to better ourselves everyday by setting little goals that are more achievable rather than a list of giant goals that not many people will actually end up achieving. And same deal with lessons. I would like to think I learn something everyday regardless of the time period in question. So if that were true (let’s assume it is), then there are far too many lessons learnt to talk about in this space and I would actually like to keep this post short and sweet.

So in this post, I would just like to say that I hope this year brings everyone a whole lot of happiness! Not guaranteeing 365 days of happiness, but I hope it is the majority! I hope you have a lot of good changes this year as I am attempting with this blog! Overall, I aim to stay positive, keep improving myself, and survive another year with help of those around me! I wish you the same and more!

Also instead of just writing wishes, I’ve added some photos I took of the fireworks at Auckland Skytower at midnight on New Years! They may not look that great and in person, the fireworks at the Skytower are less than impressive. If you’ve seen it one year, you’ve seen it every year. They last for 5 minutes and never change. My family and I have been watching it for so many years it has become tradition to be underwhelmed by the display. I’m not complaining though! Since I took up photography, I’ve learnt that even the most unimpressive things can be transformed in the right place at the right time and with a bit of luck! In my case, a whole lot of luck is needed but I had the right place and time in my favour, I believe! And Voila! A couple of photos of fireworks that are miraculously in focus!

Have a great new year! And I hope the fireworks wherever you are were brilliant!