Avoidance Coping

When things go wrong, they all seem to go wrong at once.

Usually if it’s something I can influence or change or make better, I put myself out there and do my best to change it.

But if it’s something I can’t change but still affects me, 

I cope very poorly.

I have avoidance coping issues.

I tune out the issue and the people involved. I shut down all my emotions and thoughts pertaining to that issue. I pick up something to distract myself and run with it intently. 

But it’s just no good when those issues involve people close to you.

It means I’m grieving in a completely self-centred way. I don’t open myself to discussion about the issues or try to actively adapt to it. 

I literally stick my head in the sand until the thing passes on it’s own. Because I tell myself everything passes.

I’ve identified the cowardice inside me. 

But when things are this messy, I can’t really even work on it. 

So I’ll continue to keep my head below the sand. And face the consequences for it.